At twenty-three, leaving behind a failed marriage in Western Australia and six months pregnant, I found myself back in Christchurch in 1970, living with my parents. Fortunately, they were willing and able to accommodate me and my son, Justin, who was born later that year.
I had grown up in Christchurch, and when I left school, worked for a year at the Social Security Department – like Work and Income now. When I was eighteen, I trained as a general and maternity nurse at Christchurch Hospital, and so I was able to return there, doing night shift on a busy surgical ward. Justin was at home with my parents overnight, but as he got older and was sleeping less during the day, I wasn’t able to get enough rest, and I felt I wasn’t alert enough to do an eight-hour night shift. In 1971, the Matron at Christchurch Hospital encouraged me to transfer to Akaroa Hospital where I could live-in and have my baby with me. The staff, including the GP at the time, were very helpful and supportive.
I met Jan, my second husband, at Akaroa Hospital. He had a small business selling fishing gear to the local marine industry and bach owners, but he was also the local postie, and every two weeks delivered the hospital’s wages in cash by registered mail to the back door, where they had to be signed for. Sometimes I happened to be on duty to take the delivery. Also, on my time off, I was often walking with my little boy in his stroller. Akaroa was a small town back then, and he probably thought, “She’s interesting, I wonder where she comes from, and what she’s all about?” So, he asked me out, and it all went from there. Our first date was a walk around to a penguin cave in Long Bay. We’d go on picnics together, to the beaches at Okains Bay or Le Bons Bay. Whatever we did usually involved Justin.
I wasn’t actually looking to get hooked up with anybody in a great hurry, because my trust had been destroyed in my first marriage. But with Jan, I just felt that this was a guy who I could trust – that’s really what swayed me, I think. We married in 1974 – I made my own wedding dress. We had two more children – Sam in 1975 and Tonia in 1976. After twelve years in Akaroa, we sold our property there and bought a twenty-hectare block of land at Robinsons Bay and farmed deer – a real leap of faith into the unknown for us! In 1992, another shift saw us back in Akaroa to take over my husband’s old family historic home, Blythcliffe, which had been in his family since 1904. His parents had run it as a guest house – we did a few additions and alterations and ran it as a bed and breakfast, hosting people from all over the world. All throughout I still worked at the hospital part time, finally retiring in 2003 after thirty-two years there.
Now, over fifty years later, we are still living in Akaroa. As the years pass in retirement, I realise how many valuable experiences we have had together. With a bit of patience, tolerance and a sense of humour, seeing the best in people and respecting each other’s values, we look forward to what the future holds for our six gorgeous granddaughters. If I was asked for relationship advice, I would suggest, “Do you really feel you can trust this person implicitly?” It doesn’t matter what they do, what their choice of occupation is, as long as they’re honest, open and trustworthy. That’s what we’ve had.
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This story featured in our Kōanga Spring 2025 Edition.
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