“I’m just flying”: how one woman has reigned in her inner critic, building confidence and achieving her goals

I originally taught at primary schools for fifteen years in between having kids and farming. Five years ago, we took over my husband Hamish’s family farm, a large-scale hill-country sheep and beef farm in Southland on which we run Romdale ewes and Angus breeding cows.

Coming to a crossroads in my life, the Next Level programme happened at the perfect time for me. My cup was half full – I’d given so much to the farm, our succession, the kids – I felt like I’d drained everything out of myself. I was just so hungry to learn and so hungry to have something for myself, to get into a career that wasn’t teaching, and I didn’t know how. My internal critic was in overdrive – I had so much self-doubt and no self-confidence. I had no idea what leadership even looked like.

I was very naïve going into Next Level, and it just opened up so many ‘ah ha’ moments. There were so many tools and new knowledge that I could easily transfer into my life. The one-on-one coaching sessions encouraged me to drive myself to achieve my own goals.

I’ve never experienced coaching on that level. It was really eye-opening for me. We were going through a really tough time on the farm, succession-wise, and my coach gave me permission to step right out of it and let others take the lead. She could see the impact it was having on me. So, I stepped back and let my husband become the voice at the table. It was so powerful for him to deliver those messages and it took all the pressure off me, and we really started to make traction.

As part of the programme, we all did a mind map of where we wanted to be, and we did our CVs. It helped me develop the confidence to put myself out there. I was fortunate to land a role at Ospri as a regional partner in extension – a twelve-month fixed-term maternity leave and was also elected onto the Beef + Lamb New Zealand Farmer Council – and at the end of the twelve months I decided to apply for the role of extension manager at Beef + Lamb New Zealand for the southern South Island. I started in July, and I’m just flying.

I never thought that you could love work so much. I’ve really found what fills my cup. My extension role is to connect information to farmers, and for farmers to give me information to connect back to the organisation. It’s really important that we understand what’s going on for farmers, and also what’s new and coming out. Where there’s a need in the community, we develop a strategy around it and roll that out.

Through Next Level, I’ve learnt a lot around being vulnerable, holding space for others but also for myself. I went on to find a mentor who has been pivotal in supporting me on my journey. She kept encouraging me and throwing job applications at me. I continue to have an amazing relationship with this mentor, and she helps me grow. I’m very lucky and it literally changed my life.