16 April 2021
Tikanga and Love
Ngā Mārena. Rural Weddings.
Writer: As told to Arielle Kauaeroa (Muaūpoko, Ngāti Raukawa ki te Tonga)
Photographer: Samara Doole
Just one week after Rachel Robilliard, 27, and Jack Thomas, 28, got engaged, the venue for their wedding had been decided. Rachel was attending the monthly committee meeting for her Kāi Tahu marae, located in Taumutu, Selwyn, and the news of her engagement was announced as general business. That’s kind of the way it goes at the marae – news travels the kumara vine pretty quickly. Here, Rachel shares how her whānau, marae and hapū came together for her and Jack’s special day.
After the monthly committee hui had finished, we were all in the whare kai having a kapu tī and a kōrero and an aunty asked if we would be getting married in Taumutu, which is the area that my marae, Ngāti Moki, stands in. Soon after that it was settled. We would pōwhiri our wedding guests onto my marae, walk five hundred meters to the Hone Wetere Church for the nuptials and then host the reception at a local community hall.
Jack and I knew we wanted our special day to involve the people we know and care about and I was floored by how many people threw their talents and efforts into our day. Jack’s dad runs the A&P Showgrounds here in Ōtautahi-Christchurch, so through him we arranged caterers. A close friend was our photographer, our band included some of Jack’s friends and the minister who married us had also supported my whānau when my Tāua Grannie passed away a few years ago. Add to that, a whānau, marae and hapū of support and we were away.
Mum jokes I gave her a $150 budget for decorations, and she isn't telling fibs either, but all three venues were in such naturally beautiful places that there wasn't much need for anything else. Family and friends harvested foliage like toitoi for the tables and Mum wove kōrari into my bouquet. The dress I chose was light and airy. I couldn't imagine wearing a long gown on the whenua that I'd grown up on, played on, worked on - I wanted to feel as at ease as possible.
Bringing in the tikanga and the kawa of my marae was a must for me. Incorporating aspects of te ao Māori wasn't a goal, as such, it was more that I am Ngāi Te Ruahikihiki, so it was a natural inclusion and reflection of my identity. It was a matter of checking in with my elders and my own internal compass around what was appropriate and what the tikanga required.
My tuākana, Bridget Robilliard, learnt how to karanga from my aunty, Liz Brown, our resident kaikaranga for Ngati Moki Marae. To karanga on the marae is a mighty responsibility and it brought me to tears to see my sister bring our manuhiri across the marae ātea with the safety of her call.
One of the reasons we chose to hold the wedding service at the church is because both Jack and I have grandparents whose faith was paramount and we wanted to honour that. I have many memories of Tāua Grannie cleaning the church out while us tamariki played and got underfoot. She and my Pōua Grandpa were laid to rest in the urupā there, so they were very much included and present with us on the day.
"Moea te tangata ringa raupā - marry a man with calloused hands." - Māori Proverb
After my Tāua Grannie passed away a few years ago, my aunty said her rings were to go to my sister and me. I chose the ring my Pōua Grandpa proposed to Grannie with. It was worn thin from decades of marriage. Jack knew where the ring was kept and a few months before the wedding, he surprised me with the ring, strengthened and brightened. He'd had Grannie's gold wedding ring cut in half - one side for me and one side for my sister - and the engagement ring had been recast. I love having her taonga so close to me at all times. For our wedding bands, we chose circles of pounamu, which match the drop earrings that I wore on the day.
I'm proud of my Kiwi man for stepping into te ao Māori with confidence, respect and a hunger to learn. He's spent many hours in the whare kai, doing the dishes with us, and our speaker at the wedding pōwhiri, Dave O'Connell, joked that the hapū was happy to have Jack's industrious hands now permanently in the fold.
Last year was very challenging, as well as preparing for the wedding, my mahi as an environmental lawyer meant I was driving in and out of town when lockdowns would allow, and Jack and I moved back onto my childhood farm, where Jack is now the manager. But I wouldn't have it any other way - living on my ancestral whenua with the love of my life, I couldn't ask for more.
Glossary. Marae, the complex of buildings around the marae. Whānau, family. Hapū, extended family. Whare kai, dining hall. Kapu tī, cup of tea. Kōrero, discussion. Pōwhiri, welcome ceremony. Tāua, grandmother. Kōrari, flower stem of the flax. Tikanga, values and practices. Kawa, customs of the marae. Te ao Māori, the Māori worldview. Tuākana, elder sister (of a female). Karanga, a ceremonial call. Kaikaranga, a woman who performs the ceremonial call. Manuhiri, guests. Marae ātea, courtyard in front of the wharenui. Urupā, cemetery. Taonga, treasure. Pounamu, greenstone.
Rachel & Jack
5.12.2020
Bride Rachel Robilliard, 27, daughter of Julie & Tim Robilliard, Nelson Lakes
Groom Jack Thomas, 28, son of Carol Ferguson & Dugald Thomas, Christchurch
Wedding Location Taumutu, Canterbury
Ceremony Hone Wetere Church and Ngāti Moki Marae
Reception Lakeside Soldier's Memorial Hall
Photographer Samara Doole
Celebrant Reverend Lynne Horwood
Bride's Dress Trelise Cooper
Jewellery Heirloom pounamu earrings and a bracelet Rachel has had since she was a baby
Shoes Borrowed from Rachel's sister
Makeup & Hair Ashleigh Jane
Catering Moveable Feasts
Beverages Aroha
Styling & Flowers: Rachel's mum, Julie; sister, Bridget; and family friend, Marie Kay
Band The Fillets
Invitations & Signage Melissa Knight
Honeymoon Road trip to Milford Sound and Cardrona
Living On Rachel's family farm in Southbridge, Canterbury
If you enjoyed this story, please share with someone else.
This story appeared in the Ngahuru Autumn 2021 Edition of Shepherdess.
Get your hands on a copy.
Related Stories
The young primary school kaiako using pottery to raise awareness for mental health and suicide prevention
Bella highlights the importance of te ao and te reo Māori in her job in education, and raises funds and awareness for mental health through her project Have a Cuppa.
Black Doris Plum, Coconut & White Chocolate Pie
This pie is the perfect mix of contrasting textures and flavours - sweet and tart, soft and crunchy.
Marriage of a Fifth Generation Farmer
There’s something special about being married on the family farm; even more so when it’s fifth generation.
“I created Honest Wolf to try to build a place for myself within the larger family business.”
Sophie Hurley, 33, has created a growing business for luxury felted-wool bags using wool from the third generation family farm.