09 October 2022
Surviving – and thriving – with four under five on the farm
Writer: LAUREN JACKSON
Photographer: NIKI BOON
Marlborough farmers Ellie and Tom Cranswick were thrilled to learn they were having twins, but, with two children under five already, were unsure how they’d survive. Ellie tells Lauren Jackson how they are not just getting through, but chasing their dreams.
Two tiny black dots pulsed in the image on the monitor. At first, Ellie Cranswick wasn’t quite sure what to make of them. Then she gasped, “Oh my God!” Ellie’s husband Tom was as shocked as she was. “Congratulations,” smiled the sonographer, “you’re having twins.” Their family of four was about to become six.
Ellie would never have guessed that at age 33 she’d be raising four children in the small South Island town of Ward, Marlborough. Originally from Dorset, England, Ellie first came to New Zealand in 2011 for a working holiday, never meaning to stay. But in the course of her work as a farm consultant she met Wairarapa-boy Tom. “Honestly, it was love at first sight,” says Ellie. She and Tom had both grown up on farms as one of three siblings and shared the same dream – to raise a big family on their own farm. This year the Cranswicks signed the lease on a sheep and beef farm in Kēkerengū. They are excited to be one step closer to their dream.
Prior to this, Ellie and Tom managed the Winterhome farm in Kēkerengū, Marlborough, living on-site with their small children, Pippa and Benji. They were delighted when Ellie fell pregnant again in 2020. Feeling unwell, Ellie went for a scan at ten weeks, and learned she was carrying fraternal twins. The news was overwhelming at first. Ellie and Tom felt incredibly lucky but had no idea how they'd survive.
As Ellie learned about the risks associated with carrying twins, she was relieved to discover the Multiples NZ online community, which proved to be a great source of information and support. Ellie was carefully monitored - with monthly, then weekly, then daily scans - and treasures her memories of this time. "To know that I had twenty fingers and twenty toes in my tummy; four arms, four legs - that was an incredible experience."
When twins Archie and Edward arrived (weighing 8 pounds each), local woman Lara was an absolute godsend. A mother to grown-up twins herself, Lara provided fifty hours of childcare a week for the first three months (followed by a couple of weeks off to recover!). "She knows exactly what we have been going through. She's wonderful - she has kept us sane," says Ellie. The pandemic made it impossible for Ellie's mum, Ann, to fly out from England as she had with the first two children. Tom's Wairarapa-based parents were wonderfully supportive, but day-to-day, the Cranswicks depended on Lara. "That first year was so, so tough," says Ellie. "The hardest thing I've ever done in my life."
This was the same year Ellie and Tom moved house and started their own business. Why? It was a leap of faith inspired by their goals. When a 520-hectare farm came up for lease nearby, the couple saw the chance to run their own business. This would give Tom the freedom to be the hands-on dad his father was to him. The Cranswicks drew up a business plan, bought 2000 sheep, sourced 250 cattle, and rented a cosy cottage twenty minutes up the road. Archie and Eddie were nine months old.
Tom works full-time on their lease farm, while Ellie returned to paid work at Sheppard Agriculture Ltd when the twins were eight months old. She currently works ten to fifteen hours a week to provide steady income as they build their business. She also pitches in a day a week on the farm to stay connected on the ground with their business. Benji, 3, attends preschool, and Pippa, 5, has recently started school. Ellie is grateful to have Lara still looking after the twins (now fifteen months old) a couple of days a week.
Ellie relies on structure and routine to hold it all together. She and Tom sit down each Sunday evening to coordinate calendars and plan the week's meals. Online shopping has been a game changer, Ellie says. To avoid kitchen chaos, she puts on a slow-cooker meal each morning while Tom dishes up the porridge. Her favourite time of day is the hour between dinner and bedtime, when she and Tom read books and play games with the children. "We just wind down to bed, reconnect, and chat about their days." Once the kids are in bed, Ellie and Tom catch up on farm business.
Farm life is giving the children a great start to life. Pippa loves interacting with the animals and dreams of becoming a vet. While she inspects the sheep, Benji works on his immune system - playing in muddy puddles. Pippa is a huge help with the twins, while Benji lives for his days on the farm with Tom, safely tucked into the side-by-side farm bike. Archie and Eddie are developing their own distinct personalities and are great at smashing the magnetic block towers Pippa and Benji build for them. "It's really loud," laughs Ellie, "but a lot of fun. The house is constantly untidy."
Ellie has developed coping strategies for the less fun times. "We all have bad days, and it can be really tough. Often, what helps me is putting on some country music. It lifts the whole house. The kids are dancing, and I'm happier." Sometimes, Ellie just adds water. "If things are just chaotic, I put everyone in the bath or fill a bucket with water and put them in the garden. Water play changes the dynamics of how the kids are feeling. It always works."
As a rural mum who doesn't see friends every day, the local playgroup is a highlight of Ellie's week. "It's just coffee with mums while the kids play. It's a great time to reconnect." Ellie also tries to find time for herself, even if it's just running errands in the car with a podcast playing. She and Tom also take turns with the kids so the other can play social sport. "We've agreed that's something we're going to make happen."
Ellie and Tom are a real team. "Tom basically does everything that I do," says Ellie. From cooking to bath time to bottle-feeding at all hours, Tom has never missed a beat. "You see another layer to a man when they've had their own children," Ellie reflects. "I think every day I just love him more." But "it's not all roses," Ellie says. They work hard to communicate well and make an effort to reconnect at the end of each day over dinner or a beer.
Ellie believes mothers often undervalue themselves and don't realise that the skills they pick up as mums will be transferable when they re-enter the workforce. She is passionate about supporting women in agriculture and has set up a women's business group to bring farming women together. They learn from each other and "there are no silly questions," says Ellie.
"Having kids, you sacrifice a lot. The more kids, the more you sacrifice," says Ellie. But she knows it's all worth it when she envisions her family enjoying family dinners together in years to come. "I love Christmastime and having all the family around the Christmas tree together - that's so special. And that's why you do it, isn't it? We're so blessed to have them."
This story is part of THREAD, a year-long project by Shepherdess made possible thanks to the Public Interest Journalism Fund through NZ On Air.
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