Kijiana Pene

Dear Shepherdess,

Out of all my friends and family, I’m the one who celebrates big every year. Why not, right? It’s the day to celebrate your first breath. You’re pretty much the ultimate connection and creation between two people. I love celebrating that and the successes that come with each year – and I love bringing my friends and whānau together to celebrate as well. There was the SpongeBob-themed 16th where everyone dressed in yellow and pink, the eighties themed 18th with the cardboard box dancefloor, and the Harry Potter–themed 21st where Hogwarts came to rural Taranaki.

What made my 21st even more special was that my parents had organised a surprise traditional Rotuma dance performed by my closest friends. My father is Rotuman – from the small island off Fiji, with its own language and culture – and my mother is of Te Ātiawa, Te Ātihaunui-a-Pāpārangi, and New Zealand European descent. Having friends from all backgrounds take the time to meet up in secret to practice a dance from our isolated island to perform for me was very special.

Once those milestone birthdays were gone, I realised that no one wanted to celebrate themselves anymore, and catch-ups 18 between friends become less frequent when you all live in different towns. That’s when I thought, “Why not make my birthday a reason for us all to have fun with memorable catch-ups?” They have to be themed. We’ve got the rest of our lives to hang out and catch up as ourselves. Maybe it’s because of my role as a drama teacher, but I love being able to get everyone out of their shells.

My most precious celebration would be one of the last birthdays I got to share with my nanna, the matriarch of our whānau, before she passed. Due to her health, I decided to bring the party to her. My friend Jess brought Wine and Sign to my grandparents’ homestead in Urenui, Taranaki for my nearest and dearest to try our hands at painting. The birthday itself was a hoot. None of us knew how to hold a paintbrush, blend or shade – let alone with a wine in hand! My poppa was a red wine fanatic so was all about the wine while he watched. Nine of us painted while the men all drank and caught up on the latest yarn. My nanna had severe arthritis in her hands that made it hard for her daily life. Her painting reflected this and she was upset. Thankfully, we all were terrible at art. It ended up being a massive laugh with everyone competing for the worst painting.

Being out there at the homestead that night was a great feeling. The ones who kept their paintings have that memory hanging somewhere. My mother has hers hanging in the bathroom and mine hangs in my classroom. Being around my friends and whānau is so important to me on my birthday. I used to have a cake or some sort of dessert with candles. But these days just making memories and living in the moment is what does it for me.

Kijiana Pene (Te Ātiawa, Te Ātihaunui-a Pāpārangi & Rotuma Island, Fiji) Whakaahurangi Stratford, Taranaki.

Glossary. Whānau, family.

For our Winter 2025 Edition, we wanted to hear about a memorable birthday. We love hearing your memories of rural life, and seeing your old photos too. If you have a memory you'd like to share, please get in touch with us. Email [email protected].